This morning I woke up to an email from Blogadda. It spoke about how women are expected to do all the work in the house, do well at work and not complain.
It struck me as odd. This is not how my household was. Work was divided equally in my house. I was feeling rather proud of them when something struck me. On my movie blog I mentioned the film Ilo Ilo, where in a scene the father is washing his clothes in the bathroom. I remember thinking, “Of course he’s only washing it because he doesn’t want his wife to know. As if men would do housework without a good reason.”
I hadn’t realised what this thought meant but after reading this email it struck me as very tragic. It is very tragic that I don’t expect men to do housework. I know that men think housework is demeaning and that despite thinking that, men still expect women to do it. Essentially saying that women are to be demeaned.
Where did this thought process come from? I didn’t grow up with it. Of course! A woman slapped by her Saasu because food wasn’t good. A working woman, unable to make dinner and her marriage falling apart because of it. The woman is blamed. On TV, in books and in movies….even in advertisements. The woman is always blamed!
I grew up in an environment where the men chopped and the women cooked, the lady washed and the man folded. Where they took turns buying groceries. Despite growing up in such an environment I still thought that men won’t do the housework.
So this post is not just to support Airel’s ShareTheLoad movement. It is also to apologise for my thought process that all men are narrow minded, I know there are men out there who share the load because it is also your house, your clothes, your children and as an adult you are also responsible for it. So please, share the load in turning off the television when a Saas Bahu serial is on. Share the load in raising your children and making them understand that women are just like men. That women are people too.